As a film critic, one is used to seeing awful movies-some have you reach for a headache pill and others make you wonder if there is still hope for a profession switch. Having braved so many storms, this writer was still not prepared for what was to unfold.

Somewhere in Kirkit, for example, you are shown five buddies urinating together. We are shown the actual ‘water’ being sprayed, as an intercut between their jovial conversations. Another portion in the film has our central protagonists, who look exactly like the listless young men one finds “hanging out” all over the city, arguing about who’ll go first with the prostitute they just hired. On another occasion, a female hotel attendant politely asks “What can I do for you?”; to which one of them replies sleazily “so much!” If the film’s intention is to endear the characters to their audience, you’d agree it’s way off mark. They keep talking about “pataoing ladkiyan” and appearing shirtless, somehow imagining it to be very cool. These are exactly the kind of people that nightclubs want out, the kinds that are good-for-nothing, and spend their youth in a blur of alcohol, chasing women and routinely getting into trouble.

If you must know, the story is about five Mumbai boys who’re as delightful as salty rosogullas. Matching them are some equally hot-headed folks from Hyderabad, and the two groups somehow land in Goa; the former for "sharaab and shabaab”. Naturally, they happen to choose the same hotel and then fight for the same room; then meet again at a nightclub and fight over a girl. Then they decide to settle their constant confrontations with a game of cricket. Hotel managers Sanjay Kapoor and Gulshan Grover turn this match into a huge event. They invite Jackie Shroff, the owner of the hotel, always roaming around with a blonde lady in barely-there clothes, as the Chief Guest.

For characterization you have the cast acting out labels: the Sardarji, the flirt, the religious one, the serious one and so on. The character with a religious bent of mind is the only one that had some genuinely funny lines. One can’t really comment on the actors: there are a couple of talents here, but are snowed under the avalanche of bad acting by the rest. The remaining cast includes Sayali Bhagat, Johny Lever and actors from the Tamil film Industry. The film’s camerawork, dialogue and other technical aspects are severely below par.

The songs seem fairly nice and are choreographed around nightclubs, mostly. Director-Composer Shashi Preetam tries a Dil Chahta Hai-Lagaan-Rock On combo, not matching up by even half a measure. The title is a mix of kitkit and cricket; it’s more the former, honestly.

Rating: One and half star