You have Cyrus Broacha and best friend Kunal Vijayakar who seem to have clicked upon this idea and convinced each other that it’s hilarious. Decide for yourself – you have Boman Irani in his career-worst role as a mental villain dressed up as an archaic monarch, Maharaja Harry Holkar, operating from Mumbai’s underbelly. He has a posse of aged servants who feed him peas with their trembling hands. He wants to blow up the Mantralaya because he thinks his ancestral property is buried somewhere beneath.

For this, he kidnaps Monica (Dia Mirza) and her boss Khandar (Mahesh Manjrekar), who are with the Bombay Heritage Committee. Meanwhile, a well-fed Cyrus Broacha is a down-on-luck man who has been fired dozens of times from a plethora of jobs such pizza delivery, watchman and so on. All throughout, your sympathies rest with his employers. He slips and falls, is attacked by a group of children, is shown the door by his landlord and his girlfriend leaves him too. But we feel no sympathy for this character played charmlessly by Broacha.

The `humour’ in the film includes Broacha visiting his new boss Khandar in the hospital and accidentally sitting on his broken leg. Joke No 2 – he does that again. Joke No 3 and 4 – exact repetition. Both actors are hamming unbearably, and you wish the film would move on. It does and we finally stumble towards the climax where there’s a karela pizza-chomping scientist (Rajit Kapoor, awful) who is mixing blue and red test-tube liquids to “make a bomb”. No, this couldn’t even make a silly kid laugh.

The cast is disappointing: Broacha is miscast as the character that was meant to evoke our pity. His performance is a sad attempt to do a Chaplin-meets-Mr. Bean with shots of him peeing in his underpants and bumping into things. Boman Irani is fabulous but this role is a criminal waste of his talent. Mahesh Manjrekar ought to be embarrassed, especially when the film shows a close-up of his backside and then frontside (yes…it’s that kind of movie). You feel for Dia Mirza who’s the only tolerable actor amongst all.

Debut writer-director Kunal Vijaykar unleashes this terror upon us and one can’t help questioning how the Vijaykar-Broacha team ended up making such a sorry `comedy’.

The film is named after a chocolate and you’ll need the sugar rush to recover from it. As far as outrageous spoofy comedies go, not everyone can do a Quick Gun Murugun. Mind it!

Verdict: One star